High School Yearbook: Hilarious Highlights

Our perceptions change over time. Reading your high school yearbook the day that you graduate 12th grade is a very different experience than reading it 6 years later and post-college. Or so I discovered last night, as I sat on the couch flipping through my old annuals. I found myself mystified, laughing, and in plum-shock.

WARNING: Reading this will probably inspire you to dig out your own yearbooks and see what hilarious highlights you can find, but until then--enjoy some of my favorites!

Poway High is located in a middle to upper middle class area. When I went there, a very small percentage of the student body dressed in high-end fashion; for most, Abercrombie and Fitch was considered expensive. Therefore, I have not the slightest idea how this "style guide" was approved for the yearbook.

On the "What's Hot for Girls," page we were instructed to purchase Tiffany charm bracelets, and "wear a skit over your jeans." But most important, girls were advised to invest in a Gucci handbag. The black Gucci bag (pictured below from the yearbook) looks to be about 98% fake, what do you say?

If parents were freaked out when their daughter came home from school- yearbook in hand- asking for a $1200 handbag, just wait until their son comes home, wanting a $15k Rolex watch. Obviously, if girls are told to trot around carrying Gucci purses, the guys better be prepared to impress with the blinged-out watch. The guy (pictured below from my yearbook) with his "Rolex," either snatched it from Pops or recently took a short trip across the border to TJ where people sell knockoffs from their coat pockets.

"What happens in Yearbook Stays in Yearbook!"

The headline reads on the yearbook staff page-- hinting at all of the fun the team had creating the big hardbound book, so much fun they snatched Las Vegas's slogan. These hints of fun are left dropped throughout the yearbook, largely in the form of page titles.

Unfortunately, the lacrosse team got some of the worst laughs- being that they are the team with the sticks...

The Big Stick--For guys good enough to land on the Varsity lacrosse team, they not only had skills to brag on but they were referred to as "Big Stick" in the yearbook. There wasn't a Varsity player on the team who didn't look at that yearbook title and think, "hell yeah."

Chicks with Sticks-- Girls varsity lacrosse lost some of their femininity with this title. I can hear the cackles of laughter now when the yearbook staff decided to give the ladies lacrosse team this masculine rhyme. Knowing the nature of high school students, I'm sure the teammates laughed nearly as hard- if not harder. But still-- really?

Little Sticks-- For the guys on Junior Varsity, I am sending my rather late apologies. Not only did you suffer the "ugh" of not making the varsity team- you also dealt with this belittling title. How's a guy supposed to show the girl he likes his team photo now in the yearbook without feeling part dweeb? You'd have to be a cocky guy for this not get you down.

The yearbook staff didn't stop with lacrosse, they had some fun with the soccer team too.

"We like to score.... and play soccer"-- For the guys on the soccer team, this must have been pretty funny to see printed in school colors. "They took the words right out of my mouth..." I imagine high school guys joking.

"We like to kick balls... and play soccer"-- Of course, for the girls team this sort of joke isn't acceptable; girls can't outrightly want to score- that wouldn't be ladylike. So instead, the yearbook staff decided the ladies should enjoy kicking balls... and playing soccer. I only hope the soccer guys were pre-warned about this-- being that they like to "score" so much. Or maybe they weren't and that's how the ladies team got their title in the fist place. ;)

Tarot cards don't seem mainstream in a public high school- especially not one with a "mini mag" that promotes Gucci and Rolex but Poway shocked all when in 2006 they endorsed a slew of new clubs. Standing out as most unique is the "Sacred Flame" club- with so many "Christian" clubs on campus, a small group of students wanted something else, somewhere their religion and practices could fit in.

I have to say, Poway is awesome for opening their hearts to such a diverse idea for a club. I can imagine some parents were not happy flipping their kid's yearbook and seeing a group that promotes witchcraft endorsed by the school.

Somehow, when I looked at these same two yearbooks back in 2005 and 2006 when I was 16-17, I didn't realize how strange it really was. In fact, I remember thinking the "Mini Mag" was cool, instead of a terrible and unrealistic example set for girls already pre-dispositioned for insecurity. And I didn't even stop to think how the junior varsity lacrosse guys felt- being coined the "little sticks."

You never see or think the same things when you re-read a yearbook years after high school is over. Only with the passing of time can one look back and be unbiased, an observer who sees everything for what it really is.